Well, let me tell you, I seen a lot of things in my day, but that WWE wrestling, that’s somethin’ else. And them tables! Lord have mercy, them WWE tables get broke more often than my old rooster’s legs.
They’re always smashin’ them things. Every time I see it, it is that wrestlers go through tables. Reminds me of the time my grandson tried to jump his bike over a pile of firewood. He ended up with more splinters than a porcupine.
Wrestlers Love to Break WWE Tables
Those wrestlers, they love to break them tables. It’s like they get a prize or somethin’ for every table they bust. They pick each other up, slam ’em down, and CRACK! There goes another one.
- They throw ’em through tables.
- They jump off things onto tables with people on ’em.
- They even hit each other with pieces of broken tables!
One time, I saw this big fella, he picked up another wrestler, a big one too, and he just tossed him right through a table like it was made of nothin’. Sounded like a tree fallin’ in the woods. I nearly jumped outta my skin!
And they got all kinds of ways to break them WWE tables. It ain’t just pickin’ someone up and throwin’ ’em through. No sir. They got all these fancy moves. They climb up on things, ropes, cages, whatever they can find, and they jump off, takin’ some poor fella down with ’em right onto a table.
Those WWE Tables Don’t Stand a Chance
Those tables, they don’t stand a chance. They’re just askin’ to be broke. It’s like they’re made of matchsticks or somethin’. I seen sturdier cardboard boxes. I guess they gotta be that way, though. Wouldn’t want those wrestlers gettin’ too hurt, even though it looks like they tryin’ to kill each other half the time.
I remember one time, this fella, he was all dressed up like a dead man or somethin’, he was famous, this Undertaker, he threw some other fella through a table, first time the other guy had that happen, the other guy didn’t do very good, but Undertaker, he won, he was good, I guess. It was a mess, I tell ya. Table went all to pieces. Just like that time my neighbor’s bull got loose and ran through my flower garden. Nothin’ left but splinters and petals.
And then there was this other time, two fellas, they called ’em the Dudleys, they was always breakin’ tables. Those two, they was a mess. Like two tornadoes in a trailer park. They’d break anything that wasn’t nailed down, and sometimes even things that were! They loved them tables, I guess, about as much as they hated everyone else. They seemed to enjoy smashin’ them tables, like they just loved breakin’ stuff. Reminds me of my old dog, Buster. He used to love tearin’ up my slippers.
I seen this other big fella, Goldberg, I think they called him, first time he went through a table, he didn’t get right back up, no, he was hurtin’, but he still won, I guess. It was wild, he had a table smashed over him, first time that happened to him. They say he’s tough, but that looked like it hurt, even for a tough guy like that. Those tables can do some damage, even to the big fellas. It is like that time I tried to chop down that old oak tree in my backyard. Took me all day, and I nearly threw my back out.
WWE Tables are Always Getting Smashed
So, yeah, them WWE tables, they’re always gettin’ smashed. It’s a part of the show, I guess. Like the popcorn at the movies, or the bingo at the church social. It is just somethin’ you expect to see.
It’s somethin’, watchin’ those big fellas go at it, especially when they start breakin’ them tables. It’s like a car wreck, you don’t wanna watch, but you can’t look away. Those wrestlers and tables, it is always a big show, it’s always loud, and it’s always somethin’ to see, those tables are always gettin’ broke. They go through more tables than a beaver in a lumber yard.
I don’t know why they do it, but they do. Maybe it’s for the money, maybe it’s for the fame, or maybe they just like breakin’ things. Whatever it is, those WWE tables sure do take a beatin’. They are always gettin’ smashed to pieces. But, hey, that’s entertainment, I reckon.