Alright folks, let me tell you about my little adventure with this “crying italian” thing. Saw the title, sounded interesting, so I figured, why not give it a shot?
First, I grabbed a bunch of different types of onions. I’m talking yellow, red, white – the whole shebang. Figured variety couldn’t hurt, right? Then I started chopping. And I mean really chopping. I wanted to see if I could actually get that “crying italian” effect going.
Now, I’m no stranger to onion tears. Usually, I just power through it. But this time, I was determined. I tried different techniques. Some people say to chill the onions first, so I threw a couple in the fridge for like an hour. Others swear by running water over them while you chop, so I gave that a go too.
Honestly? The chilling thing didn’t do much. Maybe it helped a tiny bit, but the tears were still flowing. The water trick was a little better. It seemed to wash away some of the stuff that makes you cry, but it also made the onions slippery as heck. Almost chopped my finger off a few times!
Next, I remembered reading something about holding a piece of bread in your mouth while chopping onions. Apparently, it’s supposed to absorb the fumes or something. So I stuck a chunk of sourdough in my mouth and kept going.
Okay, this was weird. I looked like a total goofball, and honestly, I’m not sure if it helped at all. Maybe it was a placebo effect, but I think I cried slightly less with the bread in my mouth. Or maybe I was just getting used to the stinging.
I even tried wearing goggles! Found some old swimming goggles in the back of a drawer. Looked ridiculous, but hey, desperate times, right? They definitely kept the onion fumes out of my eyes, but my face still felt like it was burning. Plus, the goggles fogged up like crazy, so I couldn’t see what I was doing half the time.
After about an hour of this, I was surrounded by a mountain of chopped onions and a puddle of tears. Did I achieve the “crying italian” level? I don’t know. I was definitely crying, but it was more of a frustrated, “why am I doing this to myself?” kind of cry.
So, what’s the verdict? I still don’t have a foolproof method for chopping onions without crying. Maybe it’s just one of those things you have to accept. But hey, at least I have a ton of onions for cooking now! I guess I’ll be making a lot of french onion soup this week. And maybe buying some stronger goggles.
Anyway, that’s my “crying italian” experiment. Let me know if you guys have any secret onion-chopping tips that actually work! I’m all ears (and teary eyes).