Alright, so today I figured I’d share something a bit personal – calling my wife to brighten her day. It sounds simple, right? But honestly, sometimes after a long day or when stuff piles up, I realized my calls had slipped into just being kinda functional. “Need milk?” “Kids okay?” Bleh. Not exactly making her smile. So, I decided to actually try a few little things and see what landed.
The Starting Point: Feeling the Rut
First off, I noticed my usual routine wasn’t working. I’d call mid-afternoon outta habit, ask how her day was going, talk about whatever needed doing back home, and hang up. Felt like a business call. Zero connection. Zero warmth. One day, she actually said, “Oh? Need something?” Ouch. That hit me. Knew I needed to shake things up.
What I Actually Tried (And What Didn’t Work Immediately)
No magic bullets here, just simple tweaks I actually practiced:
- Timing Matters: Instead of my default 3 PM slump call, I watched my phone notifications for her. Saw she texted a friend around 10:30 AM? Ding! Figured that might be a natural lull. Called right then instead. Way different vibe – she seemed genuinely surprised (in a good way!). Just picking a moment outside the usual “chore update” time window made a difference.
- Dumping the Agenda: This was tough! That “need milk” thought jumps right in your brain. So, my practice was: I literally took a breath BEFORE dialing and said to myself: “No requests allowed on this call.” Only purpose? Connect. Said stuff like “Hey, saw that funny meme about [thing she likes] and instantly thought of you” or “Just wondering if you had any funny stories from today already?” Forced myself away from logistics.
- Short ‘n Sweet Surprise: Sometimes, the big declarations feel forced. So I tried one call that lasted exactly one minute and forty-seven seconds (checked my timer!). No “How was your day?” intro. Just: “Calling solely to say your favourite coffee place just tweeted they have those pumpkin muffins back. Go get one. That’s it. You’re awesome. Bye.” Hung up fast. Got a text immediately with a smiley emoji. Boom. Done.
- Old School Recall: Okay, this took a tiny bit of prep. Flipped through my phone gallery for literally two minutes before calling. Found a goofy picture of us from vacation years ago. Called her. “No reason. Just randomly found this pic where you’re trying to balance that giant ice cream cone. Made me laugh out loud.” Sent the pic via text during the call. Sound I heard? Actual laughter. Win.
So, Did Any of This Actually Work?
Honestly? Better than expected, but it ain’t perfect. The “no agenda” call felt weird initially, like I forgot something important! She definitely noticed the shift though – less guarded tone, more warmth. The “Timing” thing worked wonders once or twice, but isn’t foolproof (she might be slammed then too!). The surprise muffin call? Instant success, but I can’t abuse that trick! The photo reminder hit the hardest – showed genuine, spontaneous thought.
The Big Takeaway I Didn’t Expect? Focusing less on achieving the “big smile” (which feels performative) and more on just inserting a tiny, unexpected bit of me thinking about her positively in the middle of a regular day… that’s where the real magic seems to be. It shifted it from obligation to genuine (if small) connection. Still practicing, but these are now tools in my back pocket instead of just forgetting to call meaningfully.