Alright, I gotta tell you about this “ifooya” thing I’ve been tinkering with this week. It all started kinda simple, you know? I just wanted a little alarm that would buzz me when my damn dog jumped onto the couch after I told him not to. Sounds easy, right? Hah.
Gathering the Bits and Bobs
First things first, I rummaged through my junk drawer full of old electronics. Found:
- An ESP8266 board from an old Wi-Fi project.
- A flimsy piezoelectric buzzer that sounds super annoying.
- Some wires that are probably too thin for this.
- And one of those pressure sensor mats – you know, the ones meant for bed alarms?
I figured, hey, put the pressure mat on the couch, hook it to the ESP, and make it scream when it feels weight. Dog hops up? BZZZZZT! Annoying noise. Easy.
Hooking Everything Up (The “Easy” Part)
Grabbed my soldering iron. Honestly, I should just buy stock in solder fumes, I breathe so much of that stuff. Connected the buzzer to the ESP pin. Easy. Connected the pressure mat’s wires to the analog input pin on the ESP. Seemed fine. Plugged the USB cable into my laptop, fired up the Arduino IDE. Wrote a little sketch:
- Read the sensor value constantly.
- If the value jumps above a certain number (meaning weight on the mat), turn the buzzer on.
- Simple
ifstatement. Felt clever.
Where Stuff Went Bonkers
First test: pressed the mat with my hand. Perfect. Loud, annoying buzz. Awesome!
Put the mat on the couch, tucked under a thin blanket. Called the dog. He trotted over, sniffed it suspiciously… then hopped right beside the mat. Nothing. Dead silence. Oh, come on! He was clearly on the couch! Grabbed my phone to check the sensor readings from the ESP over Wi-Fi. Yup, the number barely budged where he was sitting. The mat’s sensing area was too small.
Tried fluffing the blanket differently. Dog jumped up… landed half on, half off the mat. Got a weak buzz, then silence. Useless.
Epic fail number one. Wrong tool for the job.
Pivoting Like a Drunken Top
Plan B. Ditch the pressure mat. Time for… a camera? I had an old USB webcam gathering dust. Hooked it up to my Raspberry Pi sitting on the shelf. Installed MotionEyeOS – that thing is surprisingly slick for quick camera setups. Got a feed showing the couch area.
Thought: maybe use some basic motion detection in that zone? Set up a zone right over the couch cushions. Turned on high sensitivity. Test run… every time the ceiling fan spun, or light changed, BZZZZT! False alarms every 20 seconds. Drove me nuts. Dog didn’t care. Just glared at me.
Epic fail number two. Too dumb, too sensitive.
The Moment It (Sorta) Worked
Alright, scrap MotionEye’s motion. Time to get slightly fancier. Downloaded OpenCV on the Pi – man, that took forever. Found a Python script online that detects big blobs moving, tuned it specifically to look for big, warm-colored blob shapes (dog shaped!) only in the couch zone.
Repurposed the ESP8266. Made it listen for a command over Wi-Fi. Set up a little Python script on the Pi: see a dog-shaped blob? Send a “BUZZ NOW” signal to the ESP’s IP address.
Another test. Dog cautiously approaches. Hesitates… Jumps! The Pi saw him! Sent the signal! The ESP got it! Buzzzzzzz! Dog freaked out, jumped down immediately!
YES! Success! …Sort of. It works if the light is good, and if the dog jumps right into view, and if the cat doesn’t walk across first setting it off. It’s janky. Real janky. But hey, the proof-of-concept buzzed! So I’m calling this chaotic mess “ifooya” for now. It ain’t pretty, but it kinda works. Need to work on false positives next. Maybe add a treat dispenser as a bribe…