Okay, so getting my 3-year-old to actually listen? Man, that was a tough one. For a while there, it felt like I was just talking to a brick wall. And yeah, I definitely did my share of yelling. Didn’t work. Like, at all. Just made everyone upset, mostly me, and him kinda scared or just louder.
Figuring Out Yelling Was Dumb
First thing I realized, the yelling just wasn’t cutting it. It was my go-to move when I got frustrated, you know? Like, volume equals importance? Kids don’t work that way, especially not mine. He’d either freeze up, cry, or just totally ignore me even harder. It was like a power struggle I was always losing. So, I had to stop. Easier said than done, right? Took a lot of deep breaths. A LOT.
Trying Something New: Getting Down Low
So, I started trying different stuff. The biggest change? I made myself get down on his level. Literally. Like, squatting down so we were eye-to-eye. Before, I was just barking orders from way up high. When I got down low, it felt different. More connection, less like I was some giant telling him what to do.
And I made sure to actually look him in the eyes. Gently, you know? Not like a stare-down. Just trying to make sure he saw I was talking to him. Sometimes I’d gently touch his arm too, just to get his attention first before I started talking.
Keeping It Simple and Clear
Then I changed how I talked. Before it was probably a lot of “Don’t do this, stop that, why aren’t you listening, we need to go NOW!”. Way too much noise. I started making my instructions super simple. Like, really simple.
- Instead of: “Get your shoes and coat on right now, we are going to be late for grandma’s!”
- I tried: “Shoes on, please.” (Wait for that to happen). Then: “Coat on, please.”
Breaking it down helped. One thing at a time. And using “please” and a calmer tone seemed to land better than just barking orders.
Offering Choices (The Fake Kind, Sometimes)
This was a game-changer sometimes. Kids this age, they want some control, right? So I started offering choices whenever I could. Important thing: Make sure both choices lead to what you need done.
Like, instead of “Eat your peas!”, I’d try “Do you want to eat your peas first or your carrots first?”. Either way, veggies are getting eaten, but he felt like he had a say. Or “Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt?”. He picks, gets dressed faster. It didn’t always work, sometimes he’d say “Neither!”, but it worked often enough that I kept doing it.
What Actually Happened
It wasn’t magic. It wasn’t overnight. There were still days I felt like tearing my hair out. Some days he listened great, other days it felt like step one all over again. But slowly, things got better. Way better.
Getting down low and making eye contact? That helped the most, I think. It showed him I was serious but also connected. Keeping instructions short and sweet? That cut through the noise. Offering choices gave him a bit of power back.
The biggest thing was consistency. I had to keep doing it, even when it was annoying, even when I was tired. And I had to catch myself before I started yelling. Taking that breath, getting down low, speaking calmly. It takes practice, man. Lots of it.
Now? We still have our moments, he’s three! But the yelling is mostly gone. And he listens, like, maybe 70% more of the time? I’ll take it. It’s way less stressful for everyone.