Alright, so yesterday I realized my front door lock was wobbling like my grandma’s dentures. Figured it’s time for an upgrade before some sketchy character tries their luck. Grabbed this deadbolt kit from the hardware store – no fancy smart locks, just old-school metal.
Prepping My Battle Station
Cleared all the junk mail off my entryway floor. Got my toolbox looking like:
- Screwdriver with magnetic tip (lifesaver!)
- Measuring tape with frayed edges
- Pencil chewed by my Labrador
- Power drill that sounds like a dying chainsaw
Out With The Old Crap
Started yanking screws from the old lockplate. Two came out easy but the last one stripped like cheap beer. Had to get pliers and swear at it for 10 minutes. Finally ripped the whole rusty mess out – left a hole bigger than my motivation on Mondays.
Test-Fitting Nightmares
Shoved the new deadbolt in expecting perfect fit. NOPE. Needed to chisel the stupid door frame like some caveman. Wood chips everywhere. Measured twice like people say, still cut crooked once. Ended up using sandpaper to grind it smooth – took forever but worked.
Screwdriver Wrestling
Bolting the inside plate felt like assembling IKEA furniture drunk. Dropped screws down my shirt twice. Couldn’t align the cylinder right until I smacked it with a rubber mallet. When the latch finally clicked into place, I did a victory dance right there in the hallway.
Final Stress Test
Turned the key – smooth as butter. Locked/unlocked 20 times pretending I’m Jason Statham. Checked from outside – bolt shoots out solid. Gave the door a good kick like a wanna-be burglar. Thing didn’t budge. Put back my welcome mat feeling like a damn superhero.
Total time? Two Netflix episodes and three band-aids. Feels weirdly satisfying slamming that heavy bolt shut now. Cheaper than hiring some guy who’d charge $200 to do the same damn thing.