Alright folks, buckle up. I wanted to try this whole flex fighting thing I kept hearing about, figured it was time to actually learn the rules instead of just flailing around like I usually do. Saw beginners needed to know seven key things – sounded like a solid starting point. Here’s how my chaotic journey went down.
The “Why Not?” Phase
Honestly, I saw some clips online, people looked kinda coordinated throwing punches and grappling, and I thought, “Hey, that looks messy… maybe fun?” Didn’t have a clue where to start. Grabbed some gym shorts and an old t-shirt, figured that was good enough. Zero research done. Typical me.
First Attempt: Pure Chaos
Walked into my garage (my designated “training area,” aka where the lawnmower lives). Tried shadowboxing like I saw in the clips. Felt ridiculous. Threw a punch, nearly tripped over the recycling bin. Attempted a kick – almost did the splits unintentionally. My flexibility is basically zero. It clicked fast: I needed actual rules before I broke something. Probably myself.
Finding the Rules: Google is My Frenemy
Opened the laptop, typed in “Flex fight rules beginners.” Got a million results. Some looked super complicated with diagrams of stances I couldn’t pronounce. Scrolled down, down, down… finally found something promising: “Flex Fight Rules Explained: 7 Key Things Beginners Must Know.” Jackpot. Well, hopefully.
Tackling the 7 Things (One Disaster at a Time)
Read the list. Okay, points:
- The Scoring Thing: Apparently judges actually look at stuff? Effective striking (landing clean hits, not just wild swings) matters most? Ground control is a thing? Tried visualizing it. Saw me in my head – throwing wild punches, getting tackled. I am not scoring well in my imagination.
- Knockdowns & Counts: Knew knockdowns were a thing, but the whole 10-count rule? And the ref deciding if you’re okay? Tried standing after a phantom knockdown. Almost fell over for real. This requires balance I may not possess.
- Legal vs. Illegal Strikes: Oh boy. Can’t just hit anywhere? Head and body good, back of the head and spine bad. Also, no kicking a downed opponent? Noted. Did not know that. Pictured myself accidentally kicking someone’s kidneys while celebrating a dodgy takedown. Good to know.
- Positioning is King: This point talked about “dominant position” on the ground. Basically, who’s on top? If you’re on top controlling, you’re winning. If you’re underneath, breathing heavily, you’re probably losing. Glorified wrestling with punching. Tried lying on the garage floor mimicking control. Felt awkward. Looked worse.
- Ref Signals Mean Something: The ref waving hands isn’t just being enthusiastic? Stomping feet means “fight”? Tapping my shoulder means “stop”? Tried miming a ref stopping me. Realized I probably argue with phantom refs in my head. Not ideal.
- Weight Classes Exist (For a Reason): Yeah, obvious now. But I totally pictured myself trying to fight someone twice my size. It ended poorly in my mind. Quickly. Stay in your lane, apparently.
- It Ends Three Ways: Knew knockout (obvious), TKO (ref stops it because you’re basically a punching bag), and decision (points win). Didn’t realize points were based on those scoring rules I just learned! Brain hurting slightly.
Trying to Apply This Mess
Armed with this newfound (and overwhelming) knowledge, I went back out. Tried a basic punch combo (Jab-Cross! Boom!). Focused on aiming, not just swinging. Tried to imagine defending a takedown (stiff arm?). Felt clunky but less chaotic. Progress? Then I pretended I got taken down. Tried remembering “dominant position” while lying there. Decided getting back up ASAP was probably smart. Ground game is hard.
The Aftermath & Why This Matters
My garage floor saw some questionable maneuvers. I definitely didn’t magically become Connor McGregor. BUT, I finally understood why those clips I saw looked coordinated – they knew this stuff! Now, when I watch a flex fight, it makes SO much more sense. I can see the scoring attempts. I understand the ref’s calls. I cringe at illegal blows now. Huge difference.
Learning these 7 things? Painful? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely. Stopped me from being that guy who might accidentally kick someone while they’re down or get submitted instantly without knowing why. Now my flailing at least has some direction. Still clumsy as hell, but slightly more informed clumsiness. That counts for something, right?