So, last weekend I saw this viral video about a dude playing golf with no arms – crazy, right? Figured hey, why not try it myself? Grabbed my putter and headed to the backyard. Spoiler: it’s way harder than it looks.
First Try: Epic Fail
Thought I’d start simple – just tap a ball toward a flowerpot. Wedged the club between my chin and shoulder. Leaned forward… and immediately face-planted into the grass. Club flew sideways, ball didn’t move. My dog looked disappointed. Took five minutes just to reposition myself without stabbing my neck with the grip.
Second Attempt: Physics Nightmare
Switched to kneeling with the shaft tucked under my armpit. Wiggled my hips like those Instagram golfers. Swing felt like balancing a broomstick on a fingertip. Sent the ball soaring… straight into my neighbor’s rose bushes. They weren’t home, thank god. Realized zero arm control means zero aim – totally random power too.
- Lesson learned: Legs do all the work? Nope. Every muscle fights.
- Weird discovery: Teeth chattering from club vibrations.
The “Breakthrough”
Tried strapping the club to my torso with a belt. Sweaty mess, but finally made contact without falling! Ball rolled two feet. Celebrated like I’d won the Masters. Then spent 20 minutes chasing it downhill because, surprise – no arms also means no quick stops. Legs were jelly from squat-waddling after the darn thing.
Final Tally
After three hours: One chipped tooth (bit the grip too hard), one ruined flowerbed, zero successful putts. The no-arms golfer must be part wizard. My takeaway? Golf’s brutal enough WITH arms. But hey, now I appreciate simple things… like scratching my own nose. Might stick to mini-golf next weekend.