So I got into this debate the other day at Tim’s barbecue when someone shouted “LeBron ain’t no GOAT!” and buddy just hollered back “MJ ain’t never carried scrubs to Finals!” Went home that night still scratching my head about what actually makes someone the Greatest of All Time. Figured I’d break it down proper.
Starting My GOAT Hunt
First thing I did? Dug up all those YouTube GOAT debates everyone loves yelling about. Watched hours of Skip vs Stephen A screaming matches till my ears bled. Noticed they always circle back to three things:
- Championship bling – how many rings they got
- Peak performance – that killer season where nobody could touch ’em
- Career mileage – still balling hard when they’re practically grandpas
Tried making a spreadsheet but threw it out quick – felt like doing taxes instead of something fun. So I grabbed bar napkins and started scribbling athlete names with checkmarks beside these three things. Messier than my kid’s finger paintings but it worked!
Where It Got Tricky
Thought I cracked it till I compared Serena Williams with Michael Phelps. Both hit my “big three” marks dead on. That’s when I realized I needed a secret sauce factor – what I call the “eye-popping factor.” Stuff like:
- Dropping jaws doing things nobody imagined possible
- Changing how the whole damn game gets played
- That “oh CRAP did you just see that?!” magic
Started checking highlight reels. Brady’s 28-3 comeback? Check. MJ switching hands mid-air? Double check. Messi dribbling through eleven guys? Triple check with sprinkles on top.
My Final Four Rules
After beer thirty and lots of arguing with my bathroom mirror, here’s the simple GOAT criteria that stuck:
- Must win consistently at the top level (bonus for underdog stories)
- Make history look normal for a whole career, not just one hot season
- Rewrite the rules so future players gotta study their tapes
- Give you chills even years after retirement
Tested it on my hockey-loving uncle. Mentioned Gretzky’s records lasting decades and how he invented new ways to pass the puck. Old man just nodded slow and said “Damn right.” Felt good having something simple that actually clicks!