Man, let me tell you about how I actually did this. Zero experience. Nada. Like watching UFC felt cool, but actually doing it? Different story. Totally clueless. Here’s exactly what went down:
The “Maybe I Should Try This” Phase
Started scrolling online, right? Just typing stuff like “mma for total beginners” and “gyms near me that won’t kill me”. Honestly, half the websites looked super intimidating. Photos of ripped dudes screaming mid-punch. Not helpful for a newbie.
Then, I found the magic words: “Intro Classes” and “No Experience Necessary”. That’s what I needed. Filtered my search for gyms offering exactly that. Didn’t care about the fanciest place, just one that sounded welcoming. Read the reviews like my life depended on it. Looked for comments like “great for beginners” or “coach was patient”. Found three possibilities.
Actually Picking Up the Damn Phone
This was the hardest part. Seriously. Sat there staring at the numbers. Felt like calling the principal’s office. “What if I sound like an idiot?” “What if they laugh?” Took a deep breath, dialed the one with the best beginner reviews.
The call went like this:
- Me: “Uh, hi yeah… super interested? Like… never done anything? Can I just… show up?” (Smooth, I know).
- Guy on Phone (Chill Voice): “Yeah man, totally. That’s what the intro class is for. Wear gym shorts, t-shirt, bring water. We got loaner gloves for the first bit. Show up 10 minutes early Tuesday. Cool?”
- Me: “Cool. Uh, thanks. See ya Tuesday.” hangs up way too fast
Massive hurdle cleared. Felt lighter instantly.
Walking Through That Door
Tuesday rolls around. Changed in my car like a teenager. Walked in feeling like everyone was staring (they weren’t). Coach spotted me looking lost immediately. Shook my hand, introduced himself, asked my name. Got handed some loaner gloves. They smelled… interesting. But whatever.
The group was small – maybe 8 people. Some looked slightly less clueless than me. Coach laid it out simple: “Forget what you see on TV. We start slow. Breathing. Stance. How to stand without falling over.”
What Actually Happened in Class
First: We lined up. Basic warm-up jog, some stretches. My hips felt fused shut. Embarrassing.
Then: How to stand in a boxing stance. Feet shoulder-width apart? Knees bent? Hands up? Felt super unnatural. Kept wanting to stand straight up.
Next: The absolute basics of throwing a jab. Just the arm movement. No power. Just extend and pull back. Coach walked around correcting everyone. Took my hands and positioned them. “Like this. Don’t drop that hand. Protect your face.”
Finally: A super slow-motion drill with a partner. Hold focus mitts (padded targets) for each other. My partner had also just started. We were both concentrating so hard on not screwing up, giggling nervously when we did. Coach yelled reminders: “Breathe! Don’t hold your breath!” I was absolutely holding my breath.
No rolling. No kicking hard. No getting smashed. Pure ABCs. Learned how to move my feet a little without tripping. That was the whole hour. Sweated way more than expected.
The Aftermath & Sticking With It
Walked out exhausted and buzzing. Ached the next day in places I didn’t know existed (forearms? Seriously?). But felt awesome. Signed up for their beginner fundamentals program right there. Took the pressure off – no need to jump into crazy stuff.
Biggest takeaway? Showing up is 90% of the battle. Finding a spot that understands “total beginner” means just that – starting from absolute scratch. Forget needing skills. Just need to walk in and do what the coach says. Really is that simple. Stupidly scary beforehand, ridiculously simple once you’re in. Been showing up twice a week now. Still terrible, but slightly less terrible than last week.