Why I Tried This Brutal Boxing Thing
Heard about this “No Mercy Percy” workout from some gym rats. Figured since my usual jog felt like petting kittens, maybe smashing stuff could actually make me stronger. Grabbed my dusty gloves – last used when my nephew tried teaching me uppercuts during Thanksgiving.
How I Got My Butt Kicked
First off, the warmup nearly murdered me. Had to jump rope like some caffeinated kangaroo. Counting got messy around 27 when my left foot decided it wanted vacation. Tripped over the damn rope twice, almost took out the water bottle.
Actual boxing part went like this:
- Started punching the heavy bag pretending it was my alarm clock. Percy’s routine said “throw combinations FAST”. My arms felt like overcooked noodles by round three.
- Tried ducking and weaving like they do in movies. Almost whacked my head on the bag when I slipped. Note to self: shiny gym floors are slippery when sweaty.
- Footwork drills looked easy in the tutorial video. My legs tangled like headphone wires. Felt like a drunk giraffe on roller skates.
The “No Mercy” Stuff That Almost Broke Me
Between rounds? Burpees. Percy’s like “do burpees til you hate life” – mission accomplished after five. Had to pause halfway to untie my shoe that somehow knotted itself. That sweat puddle under me? Pretty sure I left a silhouette.
What Happened Afterwards
Took me four minutes to peel gloves off because my fingers were sausages. Shower felt amazing until I tried lifting my arms to shampoo. Had to eat spaghetti with both hands shaking – looked like a toddler with chopsticks. Next morning? Couldn’t scratch my own back. Still trying to figure out if the bedroom door moved or if I walked sideways.
Would I Do This Again?
Hell yeah, actually. Felt like Rocky for like ten seconds when I nailed a combo. But next time I’m tying my shoes with triple knots and bringing a mop for the sweat tsunami. This Percy guy doesn’t play around.
