The Day I Realized My Holden Needed a Nickname
So I was cruising around in my Holden Commodore last week, you know, just enjoying the ride. But man, it felt kinda… flat. It needed personality. Needed something more than just “the car”. That’s when it hit me – maybe a proper nickname would fix it. Like people naming their boats or something.
Started simple enough. Pulled out my phone right there at a red light. Typed stuff like “best Holden nicknames” into the search bar. Holy cow! Floodgates opened. Forums, chat groups, random blogs – everyone and their cousin had opinions.
Drowning in Suggestions
First step was gathering names. Seemed easy, right? Wrong. Got totally swamped. Jotted ’em all down on a piece of scrap paper I found in the glovebox:
- Holdy (Kinda basic, sounded like everyone else)
- The Lion (Official mascot, sure, but felt too corporate?)
- Big Red (Mine’s actually blue, so… nope)
- The Beast (My V6 ain’t that fierce)
- Commo (Ultra-Aussie, classic, maybe too obvious?)
- Thunder (Exhaust note is more purr than boom)
- Silver Bullet (Again, blue car… see the theme?)
- Ozy (Short for Oz? Felt a bit forced)
- Old Faithful (Reliable, yeah, but kinda old-man vibe)
- Betsy (Just… no)
Crumpled paper into a ball. This needed structure.
Getting Real About What Fits
Next day, I got serious. Grabbed my coffee and a whiteboard I have in the garage. Drew lines, made boxes. Needed criteria.
First thing: The name HAD to fit the car’s look and feel. Big sedan? Can’t be calling it “Tiny”.
Second: Needed to sound good yelling it across a car park. Try shouting “Cuddles” loud. Didn’t work.
Third: Should have a personal link. Maybe the colour, or how it drives, or even where I got it.
Fourth: Couldn’t sound totally dumb. Avoided anything sounding like I was trying too hard to be cool. Failed the shout test.
Stood back, stared at the board. Time to eliminate.
- “Holdy” – Wiped it. Too generic.
- “The Beast” – Crossed out. Embarrassing lie.
- “Big Red”, “Silver Bullet” – Laughed, erased them. Pointless.
- “Betsy” – Scrubbed off immediately.
Down to The Lion, Commo, Thunder, Ozy, Old Faithful.
The Live Test Run
Took the car for a proper drive to test the finalists. Talked to it. Sounds nuts, I know.
- “Alright, Commo, let’s hit the highway.” Solid. Felt Aussie, true. But… everyone calls it that. Wanted something mine.
- “Come on, The Lion, pick up speed!” Powerful symbol. Liked it. Still felt a bit like a company slogan.
- “Roar for me, Thunder!” Pressed the gas. Nope. Definitely not thunderous enough. Ditched that.
- “Cruisin’, Ozy!” Weird. Made me think of Osbourne, not Australia. Axed it.
- “Good job, Old Faithful.” Sigh. True on reliability. Made it feel ancient. Not the vibe.
Parked back in the garage. The Lion was strong, Commo was classic, but neither felt perfect.
The “Aha!” Moment
Then it clicked. Was staring at the Holden badge – that strong Lion head. Solid, dependable, kinda quiet power. The Lion was close… but too formal. Needed muscle. Needed Aussie grit.
Iron Lion.
Tried it right there. “Let’s go, Iron Lion.” Felt natural rolling off the tongue. Strong, reflected the badge, had a bit of metal toughness. Sounded good yelling it (“Oi! Moved the Iron Lion!”). Fit the blue paint job surprisingly well – like cool metal. Reminded me of Aussie resilience too.
Compared it head-to-head against Commo and the original The Lion on my whiteboard. Iron Lion just clicked better. Personal. Punchy. Meaningful.
Living With “Iron Lion”
Told the name to my mate down the pub. He chuckled, then went “Actually, yeah. Fits.” Wife didn’t roll her eyes too hard, which is high praise. Used it driving yesterday – “Easy now, Iron Lion, smooth corner.” Felt right.
The car feels different now. Got its own identity. More than just a machine. That nickname gave it character I never knew it needed. Finding the right one, one that actually sticks and feels good? Yeah, totally worth the messy whiteboard session and talking to my car. Iron Lion’s here to stay.