Why I Decided to Finally Try Running
Honestly? My jeans felt tighter last Monday. Tried jogging years ago but quit after feeling like a dying walrus halfway down the block. This time though, I promised myself: baby steps only. Googled “running for lazy beginners” while eating chips.
My Step-by-Step Prep Work
Dug out decade-old sneakers first. Bad idea – the soles crumbled like stale bread. Went to a discount store, grabbed whatever running shoes fit under $30. Didn’t overthink it.
Next: timing. Set phone alarm for 6 AM. Packed gear the night before – literally threw shoes, shirt, and keys into a grocery bag. Wore sweatpants I normally sleep in.
The Cringe-Worthy First Attempt
Alarm screamed. Dragged myself outside groggy. My genius starting strategy:
- Walked 3 minutes to the park pretending to warm up (really just procrastinating)
- Jogged for exactly 30 seconds – lungs burned immediately
- Walked 4 minutes while gasping
- Repeated jog/walk zombie cycle for 15 minutes total
- Stopped when side stitches stabbed me like butter knives
Sweat poured down my back even though I barely moved. Felt humiliated when an old lady with a walker passed me.
What Actually Kept Me Going
Nearly quit day two. But then did two things:
- Downloaded a free app with cartoon voices cheering “You’re awesome!” after every walk interval (embarrassing but worked)
- Rewarded myself with fancy coffee only after runs
By week three, noticed tiny changes:
- Could jog 2 whole minutes without seeing stars
- Morning cough stopped happening after first 5 minutes
- Stopped caring about looking stupid
Beginner Mistakes I Wish I Avoided
Learned these the hard way:
- Don’t gulp water right before running – hello sloshing stomach
- Cotton shirts = wet sandpaper on skin after 10 minutes
- Stretching AFTER feels better than forcing toe touches cold
Biggest surprise? Rest days matter more than run days. Skipped one Tuesday to binge Netflix – next run felt easier.
Where I’m At Now (Still Slow AF)
After two months:
- Manage 3km total with walk/jog intervals
- My cheap shoes gave me blisters – upgraded to less-ugly $60 ones
- Still hate waking up early but crave that post-run toast now
Zero weight lost. But weirdly feel stronger opening pickle jars. Would I recommend it? Only if you promise to laugh at yourself panting like a dog. Just put one sweaty foot in front of the other.
