Man, sometimes you just feel like you’re banging your head against a brick wall, right? That was me, a while back, on this one project that nearly drove me nuts. It really made me think about that FBI guy, Alonzo Mosely, from that movie, Midnight Run. That’s the practice I’m talking about today – my “Alonzo Mosely” phase.
I was supposed to be this steady hand, the guy making sure things went by the book. We were rolling out this new system, super critical, and everything had to be just so. Procedures, checklists, sign-offs – you name it, I was supposed to be enforcing it. And for the most part, the team was on board. Except for this one dude. Let’s call him “Sparky.”
Sparky was brilliant, no doubt. Could code circles around most people. But rules? Timelines? Documentation? Pfft. Those were for other people, apparently. He was always going rogue, pushing stuff he “knew” would work, bypassing all the safety nets. And guess who had to chase him down every single time? Yours truly. I felt like Mosely, constantly on the phone, “Is he there? Have you seen him? Tell him he needs to follow the protocol!” It was exhausting.
My Daily Grind as Agent Mosely
My “practice” became a daily game of cat and mouse. Here’s what it usually looked like:
- Morning: Check Sparky’s commits. Find three things pushed directly to staging without review.
- Mid-morning: Try to talk to Sparky. He’s “in the zone” or “too busy for meetings.”
- Lunchtime: Finally corner him. He’d give me that charming grin and say, “Oh, that? Yeah, it’s fine, trust me.” Like Mosely getting his badge flashed by Walsh.
- Afternoon: Something would inevitably break because of his shortcuts. All hands on deck to fix it.
- End of Day: I’d be writing up incident reports, feeling like I’d lost my sunglasses again.
The worst part? Management loved Sparky’s “speed.” They didn’t see the chaos he left in his wake, or the hours the rest of us spent cleaning it up. They just saw him closing tickets fast. So, when I tried to put my foot down, really enforce the rules like Mosely trying to assert his authority, I’d just get these blank stares. Or worse, I’d be told to be more “flexible” and “empower innovation.” Right.
I remember this one time, we had a major client demo. The night before, Sparky decides to “optimize” a core module. No testing, no heads-up. He just did it. Demo day? The whole thing crashed and burned spectacularly. And who looked like an idiot? Not just Sparky, but me, the guy who was supposed to have it all under control. That was my “the Duke has the disks!” moment. Total helplessness.
I really tried. I set up more meetings. I made more checklists. I even tried pairing him with someone more methodical. Nothing stuck. It was like trying to handcuff smoke. He’d agree, nod, and then go do his own thing the moment my back was turned.
What I Took Away from Being Mosely
So, what did I learn from my time practicing the “Alonzo Mosely” method of banging my head against the wall? Well, for one, I learned that sometimes, you just can’t be the by-the-book hero if the system itself doesn’t support it. Mosely was a good agent, but he was in a world that played by different rules, always getting outmaneuvered. Sound familiar?
I realized you can have all the right intentions, all the best procedures, but if the culture doesn’t back you up, or if you’re dealing with someone who’s rewarded for breaking the rules, you’re just gonna end up frustrated and shouting into the wind. You can’t just “get him on the plane” if nobody else really wants him on it, or if he keeps finding ways to jump off mid-flight with a parachute you didn’t even know he had.
Eventually, Sparky burned himself out or got a better offer, I don’t quite remember. He just… disappeared. Things got calmer after that. But I never forgot that feeling. Now, when I see a “Sparky” situation brewing, I approach it differently. Less head-on confrontation, more trying to show the impact in ways management can’t ignore. It’s not as dramatic as chasing a bail jumper across the country, but hey, it saves me a few grey hairs. And I try to keep a much tighter grip on my metaphorical sunglasses.