Alright, buckle up buttercups, because today we’re diving into some seriously shady stuff. I’m talking about… well, you saw the title. Let’s just say I was curious. Real curious. And I’m a firm believer in learning by doing. So, here’s the dirt, straight from my Book of Shadows (aka, a beat-up notebook I found at the dollar store).
First off, disclaimer: I am NOT advocating for anyone to actually do this. This is purely for educational (and slightly insane) purposes. Messing with the universe can have consequences, y’know? Think of this as a “Mythbusters” episode, but for the occult.
It all started with this nagging feeling. Let’s call it… dissatisfaction. Let’s also say there’s a specific individual involved. Not someone I hate, mind you. Just someone who’s been consistently… irritating. So, I started digging. Googling, mostly. Lots of late-night, half-drunk Googling. Then, I stumbled upon some interesting forums. You know the ones. Filled with usernames like “ShadowWitch666” and “DarkLordAzathoth.”
Anyway, I pieced together a basic ritual. Apparently, the key is visualization. You gotta REALLY focus your intent. Feel the anger, the frustration, whatever it is you want to project. Think of it like sending a nasty email, but instead of hitting “send,” you’re channeling it into some weird cosmic energy.
So, here’s what I did.
- Gathered my supplies: A black candle (because duh), some graveyard dirt (okay, it was dirt from my backyard, but I imagined it was graveyard dirt), a picture of the “target” (printed from Facebook, naturally), and a safety pin.
- Set the mood: Dimmed the lights, lit some incense (patchouli, because that’s what I had), and put on some vaguely creepy ambient music. Think horror movie soundtrack without the jump scares.
- The ritual itself: I inscribed the person’s name on the candle with the safety pin, then stuck the pin through the picture. Yeah, it felt a little voodoo-doll-ish, but I committed. I stared at the picture, focusing all my annoyance and picturing them experiencing… mild inconvenience. Like, constantly stubbing their toe, or always having their phone battery die at crucial moments. Nothing major, just persistent little annoyances.
- The chanting: I made up some gibberish. Seriously. It sounded vaguely Latin-ish, but it was mostly just guttural noises and made-up words. Something about “unfortunate circumstances” and “lessons being learned.” I know, super generic.
- Burnt the picture edges: Used the candle flame to lightly singe the edges of the picture. Again, dramatic effect more than anything.
- Extinguished the candle: Snuffed it out, didn’t blow it. Apparently, blowing it scatters the energy. Or so the forums said.
So, did it work? Honestly… I have no freaking idea. A week later, I heard through the grapevine that the person in question had a flat tire. Was it the curse? Coincidence? Bad luck? Who knows! But it definitely gave me a weird sense of satisfaction. Like I’d finally vented all that pent-up frustration.
The point is, this was an experiment. A weird, slightly unhinged experiment. I wouldn’t recommend anyone actually try this. There’s probably a healthier way to deal with your anger. Like therapy. Or punching a pillow. But hey, at least I can say I tried. And now I have a good story to tell at parties.
Again, I’m not telling you to do this. This is just what I did. Don’t be a dummy.